What Am I Really Afraid Will Happen During Sex?
Understanding your fear around sex begins with listening to yourself. Your body often holds the answers, and paying attention to your internal reactions can reveal what you are truly afraid of.
What Would You Rather Be Doing?
Ask yourself this: if you were not about to have sex, what would you prefer to be doing instead? Your answer can reveal whether you actually desire the moment, or if your mind is elsewhere. This is an important sign to pay attention to.
What Happens If You Don’t Have Sex?
Consider the consequences of saying no. Are you worried that the other person will become angry? Do you think you will feel guilty, ashamed, or terrible afterwards? When sex feels like something you are doing simply to avoid punishment or conflict, it stops being a pleasurable choice and becomes an act driven by fear.
Identify What You’re Afraid Of
Be honest with yourself: what exactly are you scared might happen? Are you afraid sex will be painful? Are you worried about getting pregnant? Are you afraid of emotional consequences? Naming the fear is the first step toward understanding it.
Explore With Support
You may not be able to answer all of these questions on your own, and that’s okay. Therapy can be a powerful tool when dealing with fear around sex. It can help you explore your emotions safely and understand what your body has been trying to communicate.
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