Why You Freeze When It’s Time to Have Sex

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Freezing during sex is often a sign that your body does not feel safe enough to continue. It is not always about the situation itself; sometimes it is your nervous system signalling that something needs attention.

Make Out for Longer

One of the first things to consider is extending your foreplay. Spend more time making out than you currently do, or more than you did before you experienced the freezing. Giving your body the time it needs to ease into intimacy can make a significant difference.

Notice When Your Body Freezes

Pay attention to the exact point where your body begins to freeze. Does it happen at the very start? Does it happen when your clothes begin to come off? You need to identify the moment it occurs and check whether it is becoming a pattern. If it has happened three, four, or five times, it may be time to speak to an expert.

Observe How You Feel Afterwards

Reflect on what you feel when you freeze. Do you feel shame, anger, or frustration? Do you still want to continue, or does the desire disappear? Understanding the emotions tied to the freeze response can reveal what your body is trying to say.

Ask Yourself an Honest Question

Be brutally honest with yourself: if you did not have sex with this person, would you feel grateful? If you were not considering their feelings or expectations, would you feel relieved? If the answer is yes, then your body may be signalling that it is not ready to have sex with this person, even if you have been together for a long time.

Consider Underlying Emotions

Sometimes freezing is linked to deeper, unresolved emotions. If this keeps happening, it may be worth exploring those underlying issues with a professional who can help you understand what your body has been trying to communicate.

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Liza Express Wellness Masters of heterosexual pleasure, trauma and addiction recovery: Nine years of helping our clients experience great sex, break up with trauma, recover from addictions, and build nurturing relationships. Hosts of the Liza Express Podcast, Sexpressway Show™ and The SEXODEMY™.