No feelings left:why do I feel nothing during intimacy?
Emotional Numbness-Ask Liza Express Answers
Emotional numbness during intimacy is often a trauma response—not a lack of desire or a flaw in your character. When your body has experienced violation, betrayal, or overwhelming emotional pain, it learns to shut down feelings as a survival strategy. This is called dissociation. During intimacy, instead of being present, your mind retreats to a safer internal space.
Your nervous system is essentially saying, “Feeling is dangerous. Feeling is overwhelming. Feeling is too much.” So it flips the switch to numbness. This doesn’t mean you don’t want connection. It means connection triggers old alarms.
Another dimension is emotional overload. When you’ve spent years managing stress, shame, trauma, or guilt, your emotional system becomes fatigued. Intimacy requires openness—and if your emotional circuits are overloaded, your brain may temporarily shut down sensation to avoid being overwhelmed.
The good news: numbness isn’t permanent. It’s a protective mechanism that can be gently retrained. Through grounding techniques, slowpaced intimacy, traumainformed therapy, and emotionally safe relationships, your body gradually relearns how to feel without fear.
You’re not broken. You’re guarded. And guarded people feel numb until they feel safe.
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