Understanding Emotional Versus Physical Lubrication

When is lubrication emotional and not just physical? Well, physical would mean that you’ve been kissed, you’ve been smooshed, you’ve been touched, and you know, you get wet. But that doesn’t always happen, because this process requires information to come from your brain to your body that says, oh yeah, it’s go time.

But if you are mentally exhausted and you’re thinking about other important things, and you are angry with the person who is trying to make out with you and make love to you, or make love with you, depending on whichever one you are both willing to commit to, you can be pretty dry. It’s not because you don’t like the person; it’s simply that you are not present. You are not mentally and emotionally present.

Now, after a grievous situation, you may be willing to have a lot of sex, but that doesn’t mean you are biologically ready to have sex. For example, if you lose someone, or you were in a painful experience, or you lost a job, you may want to do something your body considers fun, like sex. The desire for it may rise and feel like a priority, but your body may not be ready because, mentally, something else is going on, and sex becomes the medication.

So you need to understand the dynamic of what your emotions are at the time. There are moments when sex is medication, but you also want to be careful that it’s not something you turn to so often that you begin to experience some level of addiction. That’s how a lot of people got into masturbation and pornography — by using sex as medication.