Listening to Your Body: Emotional Readiness for Intimacy
Why does my body… what does my body need to feel ready? Ask your body. Ask it. Listen. Your body is always saying something. For some of you, you just need to go and observe a siesta so you can have sex tonight. Literally — just go and observe that siesta.
Figure out what your body needs by listening to what your body is saying. If you are angry with your partner, you really don’t want to have sex with them. It’s not because you don’t like them, but because you’re so angry you need to process. And if you don’t give that to your body, you may feel like the sex was a manipulation to get you to the point where you speak to them.
Now, for some people, anger doesn’t bother them in a way that tampers with their sex life. But for some others, because they are familiar with getting manipulated, such an experience will make them feel more manipulated, more vulnerable, and more defensive.
And so, what your body needs to feel ready is different for each person, which is why you need to be listening to yourself and dating yourself and being present with yourself. It’s not just, Oh, I want to make my partner happy. There is the fundamental place of making your partner happy and having pleasurable experiences. But if, in a bid to force yourself to have one sexual experience, you’re going to spoil ten more, it doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s not a good investment.
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