Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity: Understanding the Healing Process

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Can Trust Really Be Rebuilt After Infidelity?

When a couple is trying to heal after infidelity, one of the most common questions that comes up is whether trust can genuinely be rebuilt. I often tell people something very simple in the course of my work: trust is not something you gift to another person; it is something they must earn. Before infidelity, many people gift trust because they love their partner, but once betrayal enters the relationship, trust stops being a gift and becomes something that must be earned through effort and consistency.

Is It Possible to Rebuild Trust?

To the question of whether trust can truly be rebuilt, my honest answer is yes. However, it is important to understand that rebuilding trust is neither quick nor magical; it is a process. It may take several months or even several years, because the person who broke the trust must now prove that they deserve it again. It will not be handed to them the way it once was.

What Does Rebuilding Trust Require?

Trust will only grow when the partner who broke it becomes transparent, patient and accountable. Their behaviour must align with their apology and their remorse. On the other side, the partner who was hurt — the one who experienced the betrayal — must be allowed to feel emotionally safe. They cannot and must not be rushed.

Healing Has No Fixed Timeline

Healing does not follow a set timeline; it is a deeply personal process. One person may heal in a year, another in three years, and someone else may take five years. Some heal in a matter of months. What matters most is that the person who committed the offence remains patient, transparent and accountable, while the person who was hurt is given enough time and space to heal.

Final Thoughts

Yes, trust can truly be rebuilt. It may take time, consistency and genuine effort, but it is absolutely possible. Trust me — it can be rebuilt again.

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Vivian Alright and Alright Eigbe Alright Eigbe has been a sex therapist for over 21 years. He is a husband, father and pastor who also enjoys his practices as a Family Lawyer and Counselling Psychologist. Vivian Alright is a certified marriage and family counselor with TIMFA. She has been passionate about the family system for years as it impacts the mental health and creativity of couples.