What am I really afraid will happen during sex? Well, listen to yourself to know what you're afraid of. Here are a few things that can help you listen to yourself. If you were not having sex, what would you rather do? That's something that you should pay attention to.

Number two, if you do not have sex, what could go wrong? What's the consequence of not having sex? Perhaps the consequence is greater. The consequence of having sex with this person is greater. Perhaps they'll be angry with you.

You'll feel bad. You'll be shamed. You feel terrible.

And so as a result, it doesn't feel like you're choosing a pleasurable action. It feels like you are doing what you must do to avoid a certain kind of punishment. And so pay attention to that.

Another thing you should pay attention to when it comes to understanding your fear is asking yourself what you are honestly afraid of. Are you afraid sex will be painful? Are you afraid you may get pregnant? What are you feeling? You may not be able to answer some of these on your own, which is why therapy can be a fantastic tool when you're experiencing fear of sex. Don't be afraid to explore.