How Can I Separate Curiosity from Expectation?

1. What is curiosity and what is expectation?
Curiosity is what you would like to explore, know, or understand. It sounds like, “Hmm, that looks like it would be fun.” Expectation, however, is the same idea but with a demand attached. It sounds like, “I want that thing that looks fun.”

2. Why do curiosity and expectation feel so similar?
If you do not pay attention, the things that spark your curiosity can easily become the things you expect. There is no expectation without curiosity, and genuine curiosity that holds your attention often becomes expectation naturally.

3. How can I practically separate the two?
Instead of trying to separate them, pay attention to what it will cost you or your partner to meet that expectation. You cannot choose a sexual style and expect it to happen when your partner does not have the strength, stamina, or capacity for it.

4. What happens if curiosity becomes unrealistic expectation?
If you desire something but neither you nor your partner has the flexibility, stamina, or physical ability to do it, it will frustrate both the curiosity and the expectation. The issue is not the desire—it is the lack of resources to fulfil it.

5. So do curiosity and expectation need to be separated?
No. They do not need to be separated. Instead, identify the price required to receive what you desire—time, effort, communication, preparation, or physical ability—and then decide if you are willing to pay that price.