Rebuilding Trust With Your Body: Simple Steps That Make a Big Difference

Enjoying your body looks like dressing up, wearing what you actually want to wear, not what other people want you to wear. And this is from as much as your outer garments, to your inner garments, to your choice of lingerie. You want to wear what you honestly feel like wearing.

What does it mean when you feel cold? What does it mean when your heart starts to beat? Are you listening to yourself? Are you dating yourself? Are you paying attention to yourself?

Some people suggest trying masturbation to learn their body. As much as that looks like a solution, it can create a problem where you start to isolate your partner bodily. That's usually not the best way to learn your body sexually.

One way to learn your body sexually is to come to sex with your partner knowing that you are experimenting. Every sexual experience can be treated like an experiment where you're both trying something new. If you grow without them, they are going to be left behind — and then they can't bring you pleasure. You would always have to figure things out alone, which isn't ideal in a long-term committed sexual relationship. Otherwise, you'll both get frustrated.

Notice how you feel every time: Do you feel rested? Do you feel anxious? Was it good? Can you articulate what you felt? Can you communicate that without feeling bad? If you can, your body starts to learn that this is a safe environment: this is working, this is not working — let's change this and let's change that. That detail helps you.