Why do I run when someone starts to love me?
Relationship Triggers-Ask Liza Express Answers
Running from love is often a trauma reflex, not a relationship flaw. When someone moves toward you emotionally, your nervous system doesn’t interpret it as affection—it interprets it as risk. Love requires vulnerability, and vulnerability resembles the same openness that once led to harm. So your system chooses distance over danger. It isn’t that you don’t want connection; it’s that connection feels unsafe.
People who have survived betrayal, abandonment, or sexual trauma often develop hyper independence as armor. Closeness threatens that protective structure. Someone caring for you feels foreign, almost suspicious, because your emotional blueprint was shaped in environments where safety was inconsistent or earned through pain.
So you run—not because you’re incapable of love but because you’re protecting yourself from repeating an old wound. The moment affection deepens, your brain anticipates loss, disappointment, or harm. It tries to outrun heartbreak before it happens.
The shift begins when you start recognizing the difference between historic danger and present safety. Slowpaced relationships, clear communication, boundaries, and traumainformed support help retrain your nervous system to expect care instead of harm. You don’t run because you’re broken; you run because you were conditioned to survive. Healing teaches you to stay.
What's Your Reaction?
Like
0
Dislike
0
Love
0
Funny
0
Angry
0
Sad
0
Wow
0
