Why I chase thrill but fear connection?
Intensity Craving -Ask Liza Express Answers
Thrill gives you adrenaline without vulnerability. Connection demands vulnerability without adrenaline. For someone with trauma or emotional wounds, adrenaline feels familiar—connection does not. Thrill is predictable: it gives you a rush that temporarily makes you feel alive, powerful, or distracted. Connection is unpredictable: it requires emotional honesty, trust, and exposure.
You chase intensity because it bypasses emotional depth. It gives you stimulation without requiring you to open your heart. It distracts from emptiness but never fills it. The fear of connection, on the other hand, is rooted in attachment wounds. If closeness once brought pain, betrayal, or disappointment, your brain concludes that emotional intimacy equals risk.
So you gravitate toward environments where you’re in control—seeking excitement while avoiding exposure. It’s a way to feel something without risking everything.
The challenge is that thrill satisfies your nervous system but starves your soul. Connection feels threatening now because your emotional blueprint hasn’t yet learned the difference between past danger and present safety.
Healing requires gradually teaching your nervous system that connection can be safe. As you heal, thrill becomes optional, and connection becomes possible.
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