Why Do I Love My Spouse but Don’t Want Sex?

There are people who are not naturally driven by sex, and this is more common than many realise, even though it is not always openly discussed.

Some individuals genuinely love their spouse, feel emotionally connected, but can go weeks or even months without wanting sex — and for them, this feels normal.

Love and desire operate on different systems; you can feel emotionally safe in a relationship yet physically detached because of stress, hormonal imbalance, trauma, or losing connection with yourself.

This is why it is important to understand that sometimes low desire is not about your spouse at all — it is about what is happening within you.

When dealing with a situation where you love your partner but don’t want sex, the most crucial step is honesty — honesty without shame and without guilt.

You need to be sincere with yourself and with your partner, because desire can be rebuilt, especially when love is already present as a foundation.

Identifying the Root Cause

Since love is clearly present, the next step is to explore why desire is low without pressuring yourself or feeling guilty about not matching your partner’s libido.

Speaking to a therapist or professional can help determine whether the cause is stress, hormonal imbalance, trauma, or a disconnection from yourself.

Once the root cause is identified, desire can be rebuilt gradually, even if it does not return to daily or constant levels.

The goal is not to want sex every other day, but to reach a healthy level of desire where intimacy can occur regularly and comfortably for both partners.