Craving control: Is my hunger for porn stronger than my hunger for love?

Pornography Addiction -Ask Liza Express Answers

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Craving control: Is my hunger for porn stronger than my hunger for love?

Not stronger—just more accessible. Porn gives you control. You choose the scenario, the timing, the intensity, and the end. Love, in contrast, requires surrender, patience, emotional exposure, and mutual vulnerability.

When control has become a coping mechanism—often rooted in trauma—love can feel unpredictable or even threatening.

Your hunger for porn is a hunger for certainty, not passion. It’s a way to meet emotional needs without risk. But your deeper wiring is built for connection. The desire for love is inherent, but it often gets buried under layers of fear, disappointment, or mistrust. Porn becomes the shortcut—immediate reward with no emotional cost.

The truth is this: porn feels easier, but love is what your soul is structured for. When healing takes root—through emotional regulation, trauma recovery, and healthier attachments—the hunger for love becomes stronger than the need for control.

Your craving isn’t misplaced; it’s misdirected. And with healing, it can realign.

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tolusefrancis Toluse Francis is a renowned mental health therapist, certified life coach, trainer, and consultant dedicated to promoting emotional well-being and resilience. Therapy and Coaching Expertise Approach: He uses evidence-based techniques from behavioral sciences, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Specialties: His areas of expertise include: Anxiety and Depression Trauma, Grief, and Loss Relationship Issues Habits and Addiction Workplace Mental Health Focus: He is committed to helping individuals move past negative experiences, overcome poor mental health, and focus on their future with enthusiasm. Professional Roles and Advocacy Founder: He is the principal and CEO of Reuel Consulting Ltd, a firm specializing in helping organizations and individuals move toward measurable mental health action. Leadership: He has served as the African Regional Vice President and a Board Director for the World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH), overseeing activities in the African region. Public Profile: He is a sought-after writer, public speaker, and media contributor on mental health, personal growth, and emotional intelligence, working to break mental health stigmas. Toluse Francis holds a B.Sc. in Biochemistry and a Diploma in Mental Health and Psychology. He has over 7 years of experience in the field, with sessions typically conducted online.