How Do I Build Curiosity Around Sex Instead of Fear?

To build curiosity instead of fear, you must intentionally invest in great stories. Humans are natural creators and consumers of narratives—we read stories, hear stories, and create stories in our minds.

These stories shape our emotions. If you are already nervous about penetration and you repeatedly hear stories about men being so large that women cry or get injured, fear will naturally grow. Any negative narrative around sex can inspire fear.

Both fear and curiosity are fuelled by stories, so you must begin paying attention to stories that highlight the pleasure, benefits, and beauty of sex. For example, some people talk about how sex can aid weight loss due to its physical intensity, or how it can improve sleep, connection, and overall wellbeing.

You should focus on the positive aspects, but with wisdom. If you are not sexually active, consuming too much sexually stimulating information can create premature desire. This may put you at risk of settling for a partner or situation you are not ready for.

So, maintain a balance between curiosity and exposure. Explore only at a pace that aligns with your readiness. Do not expose yourself to more than you are prepared to act on unless you are consciously choosing to explore.