How Do We Rekindle Sexual Attraction Naturally?

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When life becomes overwhelming, sexual attraction can naturally fade. Many people say things like, “How can I be thinking about sex when we have all these issues?” Yet the truth remains that sex is an important part of marriage, and it matters in your relationship too. A drop in desire does not mean something is wrong with you; it often means life has been heavy.

What Should We Focus on First Before Trying to Fix Our Sex Life?

If you want to rekindle sexual attraction, the first step is not to focus on sex itself. Instead, reconnect emotionally with your partner. Emotional intimacy creates the foundation for sexual desire to return naturally, without pressure or force.

What Shared Activities Help Us Reconnect Emotionally?

Engage in activities that make you laugh, play, and enjoy each other’s company again. You might take showers together, play card games or Ludo, explore video games, or take gentle morning walks while holding hands. These small shared experiences help rebuild closeness in simple, meaningful ways.

How Do Touch and Affection Help Rekindle Desire?

Physical affection—hugging, cuddling, touching, or holding hands—helps you feel connected again. You can also go on small, inexpensive dates or share meals you both enjoy. Compliment each other often. The goal is to allow warmth and affection to flow back into the relationship.

Why Do Kindness and Curiosity Matter?

Once kindness returns to your relationship, curiosity naturally follows. When you feel emotionally connected, safe, and appreciated, the desire to explore each other sexually begins to grow again. Kindness revives interest, and interest nurtures attraction.

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Vivian Alright and Alright Eigbe Alright Eigbe has been a sex therapist for over 21 years. He is a husband, father and pastor who also enjoys his practices as a Family Lawyer and Counselling Psychologist. Vivian Alright is a certified marriage and family counselor with TIMFA. She has been passionate about the family system for years as it impacts the mental health and creativity of couples.