How do we rekindle sexual attraction when life happens to us?

Trust me, family and friends, when life happens, sexual attraction can naturally fade. I’ve heard people say, “How can I be thinking about sex when we have these issues?” But we know and understand that sex is a big part of marriage, and it is a big part of your marriage too.

Reconnect Emotionally First

If you ask me how to rekindle sexual attraction when life happens, the first thing is this: don’t focus so much on the sex. You want to reconnect emotionally with your partner before anything else.

Engage in Shared Activities

Do shared activities that help you connect, laugh, and play with your partner. Take baths together—what we call showers. In my house, we play card games and Ludo.

Make Time for Play and Touch

Sometimes you may want to play video games together; that is something my wife and I are planning to explore. Hug a lot, cuddle a lot, touch a lot. Many times, when my wife and I take our early morning walks, we hold hands.

Go on Simple Dates

Connect by going on small, simple dates. My wife and I enjoy Amala and Gbegiri, so we go out to eat it. Compliment each other. Once kindness returns, curiosity grows in your relationship and your marriage.

Refresh Your Appearance and Environment

One way or another, you will notice attraction growing again. Sometimes you may want to change your wardrobe, change your haircut, or change several things. Another thing you can do is change the arrangement of your house—it can trigger new brain activity.

Emotional Closeness Leads the Body

The truth is, when you feel emotionally close to your partner, your body will follow. Most of the time, the body simply follows the heart.

Rekindle the Friendship

To rekindle attraction, rekindle the friendship. Go back and play Westlife or Mariah Carey—my wife’s favourite pop artist. Do some of the things you did when you were dating. It’s cool, it’s cool.

Create Space for Connection

Maybe sometimes you want to take a week off so you both can make calls again, chat again, and enjoy a bit of long-distance energy. These things help a lot.Sincerely, they help.